Overcoming My Worst Fear Of Falling Pregnant After Experiencing Loss

When I was a little girl, I never thought about becoming a mum, this dream just blossomed after 5 years of marriage. We decided that was a good time to have kids, we had traveled a lot, enjoyed life and our relationship was mature enough. But we came face-to-face with a situation that I wasn’t prepared for. I was not falling pregnant. We tried for 3 long years and nothing happened. I went to the IVF clinic to see if there was any hope for us, and we decided to try IVF, but, one month before the treatment started, we fell pregnant on our own, it was a miracle, and we were so happy!

My pregnancy was good up until week 8, when I started to have some spotting. Every time I went to the medical centre, the doctor said it was normal, but I had this feeling that it wasn’t.

After a few weeks had passed, I had my 12-week scan and they couldn’t see the baby properly. At week 16 I had the gender reveal ultrasound and we discovered that I was expecting a baby Girl, my Deborah, and it was just too perfect to be true. But what I didn’t know was that I would be with my baby for not much longer. A few days later I experienced a massive discharge and I ran to the hospital, and they didn’t let me go home. My waters had broken and I didn’t notice because I was spotting, so when I arrived to the ward my water was almost zero, and it was almost impossible to save my daughter’s life. Unfortunately, I started labour and delivered my daughter at 20 weeks. She was so perfect and tiny, I hugged her, and sang for her, I got to be with her for 3 hours in the room. I left the hospital devastated, my heart was broken and I was so afraid of facing life knowing that I lost the most precious thing I had in life.

But I didn’t give up, I decided to fight and discover more about what happened to me, and after some research the doctors discovered that I have a disease in my blood which makes it coagulate quickly, so the blood corroded the membrane and the water started leaking.  After three months I was cleared by the medical team to try again, and on our first attempt, we fell pregnant again, but what we did not expect was that we would be having a pair of twins! It was a real miracle!

After all the nightmares, we had a rainbow to fulfill our lives with so many colours. I decided that I wanted to give to my babies the best food in the whole word, Breast Milk, but everyone I knew that had twins were not able to provide enough breast milk for their babies.

When I visited the Medela stand at the Pregnancy, Baby & Children’s Expo, one of the ladies there said to me
“Yes you can exclusively give your breastmilk to your babies.” That was enough for me!

I thought to myself, Medela see this all the time, this is the biggest company of breast pumps, if they are saying I can, I CAN!

I received the Freestyle Flex from Medela a few days before my baby’s arrival, and I started expressing breast milk from day three. It was challenging waking up all the time to breastfeed twins and express for 10 min after to increase my milk supply, but I’ve got the hang of it now. Now my babies are reaching 5 months and they still have only my breast milk exclusively.

It was easy? Absolutely not, but it is not impossible. My routine now is, I express for 30 minutes every 3 hours which allows me to have the supply for the whole day… almost 3 litres of milk for both of the twins.

At least twice a day I breastfed to increase the hormones which help to produce my breastmilk. For the rest of the day, I give them a bottle of my expressed breast milk, so it saves a lot of my time.

It is so amazing to see them growing so strong and healthy, my boy Zion is 8kg and my girl Liz is 5.5kg. They are so different and being able to provide them with such nourishing food is one of the reasons that make me smile. If I can with two babies, you can as well!